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always crashing

EMILY WALLIS HUGHES / 4 POEMS

April 12, 2022  /  Always Crashing

I’M REMINDED OF ENFORCED CONSENSUS AND FERVENT BLINDNESS

This state now has a state lichen 
Hey look right over there 
Look at that pomeranian eating carrots 
Tell yourself no, no no to every other image 
You see you let yourself be told what to do 
Instead of listening to the insects born with you 
And to the insects born inside of you 
Yes you're not blind anymore 
Yes you're free to listen to the image 
of that bird perched 
on the lichen-covered 
branch of an oak 
consumed by disease 


I DON’T REMEMBER

I’m in the square.
Plaza, the first word that came to mind. 
Why didn’t I 
write plaza? 
What is this border, and this one?
I don't remember this fence. And it is not 
weathering well. 

When am I West? 
When was I, am I, East? 
I admit I am not sure —  

I want some kind of new natural 
feminine way, but for now 

I walk as a flâneuse, wondering at what the answer could be, 
and a man I wish were here tonight 
calls to remind me 
he is all directions at once. 

And Mother reminds 
the city is good for you. 


MORE APPLE BLOSSOMS WILL TURN

I read Du Fu to my mother 
I follow her out to the patio 
She waters the potted plants 
Some questions we ask too often 
She speaks to me in German 
translated into English 
I think and I paint this way 
My teachers did not understand 
Thank goodness for the rain 
This year I hope 
more apple blossoms 
will turn to fruit 


ON THE PHONE WITH MOM IN BROOKLYN, A DOOR TO VALLE DE LA LUNA OPENS

From the backyard garden in the Valley of the Moon 
as we call it in English, after what the Spaniards called it, after 
what the Miwok and Pomo called it, better translating they say 
to many moons, now this lifetime archetype 
in my unconscious, on the phone with mom: 
shelled beans, cut up carrots she says 
I cook the broth again with some onion skin 
I put some thyme in it 
a use for those beans too hard to eat now 
If you parboil the kale 
it won't thin your blood so much 
I forget what kind of soup it is 
We forget 
British movies 
I called back to hear 
the last half of what 
you were saying 
your last sentence 
I'll mail you some California 
bay laurel leaves 
There are so many 
growing still, despite... 
Her voice trails off 
as I lose reception 


Emily Wallis Hughes grew up in Agua Caliente, California, a small town in the Sonoma Valley. These poems are in the manuscript of her second full-length book. Emily is the author of Sugar Factory, published in 2019 by Spuyten Duyvil. You can read her poems in Berkeley Poetry Review, Blazing Stadium, Elderly, Prelude, and many other literary magazines. Emily teaches undergraduate creative writing courses as an adjunct instructor at Rutgers University–New Brunswick in New Jersey. She and Jason Zuzga are the editorial directors of Fence. You can read more about her work at emilywallishughespoetry.com.

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